{"id":945,"date":"2021-06-17T05:01:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-17T09:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/?post_type=podcast&#038;p=945"},"modified":"2022-12-09T14:27:40","modified_gmt":"2022-12-09T19:27:40","slug":"101","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/podcast\/101\/","title":{"rendered":"EP 101 &#8211; Demystifying Autism"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What exactly is Autism Spectrum Disorder? Is my child showing red flags? Should I be concerned? Demystify Autism and learn about some common red flags, as we pull directly from our personal experience while tapping lightly into the science.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-create-block-castos-transcript\"><div class=\"ssp-transcript\"><div class=\"row\"><div class=\"col\"><div class=\"tabs\"><div class=\"tab\"><input type=\"checkbox\" id=\"chck1\"\/><label class=\"tab-label ssp-transcript-title\" for=\"chck1\">Transcript<\/label><div class=\"tab-content ssp-transcript-content\"><strong>Demystifying Autism<br><\/strong>Show Notes for the\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.autismwish.org\/podcast-2\" target=\"_blank\">Embracing Autism Podcast<\/a>\u00a0\u2014\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.autismwish.org\/podcast\/101\" target=\"_blank\">Ep 101<\/a><br><br><strong>Introduction<br>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0In this episode, we\u2019ll go into a deeper dive about what Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) means as well as what are some potential red flags you may be seeing in your child.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Welcome to\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.autismwish.org\/podcast-2\" target=\"_blank\">Embracing Autism<\/a>, a podcast for parents of autistic children seeking advice and support, while spreading awareness and acceptance of Autism Spectrum Disorder. I\u2019m Lia!<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0And I\u2019m Matt!<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0This week we\u2019ll discuss our journey with Autism and talk about how to embrace your child\u2019s individuality while providing guidance, tips, resources, and sharing our personal stories. This is-<br><br><strong>Lia &amp; Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0Embracing Autism!<br><br><strong>Discussion<\/strong><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0I often hear a lot of people kind of asking what exactly is\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/ncbddd\/autism\/facts.html\" target=\"_blank\">Autism Spectrum Disorder<\/a>. I know that I personally didn\u2019t really know much about it when I was first told that our child had Autism Spectrum Disorder. You kind of get a little bit of the cliches from television shows and movies. One of the things that I started looking into was what exactly is Autism Spectrum Disorder. And there seems to be a little bit of a debate because not a lot is known about Autism Spectrum Disorder. So there\u2019s research that\u2019s being done out there; one of the ones that we got involved in was the\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.sparkforautism.org\/\" target=\"_blank\">Spark Clinic<\/a>. So they\u2019re doing a lot of genetic testing, but there isn\u2019t even a consensus on to really whether Autism Spectrum Disorder is considered a mental illness or is just a developmental disorder. So I looked into it from both perspectives and the\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/autism-spectrum-disorder\/symptoms-causes\/syc-20352928\" target=\"_blank\">Mayo Clinic<\/a>, for example, specifically says that Autism Spectrum Disorder is a condition that\u2019s related to brain development and it specifically is defined by impacting how a person perceives or socializes with other people. So it causes social interaction issues specifically, and then it has issues that are related to communication. So that\u2019s a broad generic definition, but we also saw that the cdc.gov kind of elaborated on that. And we\u2019ll say that essentially people with Autism Spectrum Disorder do communicate, they just communicate, interact, behave, and learn in different ways. So they don\u2019t necessarily communicate in the way that typical people would. And sometimes it\u2019s perceived as non-communication, but there is communication there in the form of body language or other unique ways that we just need to learn to perceive a little better. It\u2019s kind of just boiling down to a neurological condition.<br><br><strong>Matt:\u00a0<\/strong>I\u2019ll just reflect on that. It seems like because things are so new with Autism, we found out that they didn\u2019t even know that females could be Autistic until relatively recently \u2014 that they would be diagnosed much later in life than your typical male.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0One of the other things that I noticed when we were going through this process \u2014 because both of our children are female and we actually are an unusual statistic in that our children got diagnosed extremely young \u2014 and the\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedaily.com\/releases\/2015\/04\/150428082155.htm\" target=\"_blank\">statistics<\/a>\u00a0had said something like the average girl who got diagnosed tends to get diagnosed at either 10 years old or older, but usually more in the teenage years. And then for boys, the average boys were getting diagnosed around seven or eight years old, like half the amount of time it took for the girls to get diagnosed.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0Right. And that\u2019s why I think you mentioned as far as the genetic testing that we\u2019re going through with our institution, one of the pamphlets that we had seen when we had first gotten the diagnosis was that there was very limited research into the families of the autistic community. And that\u2019s why they took an interest that we had two daughters that were very close in age and they wanted to closely monitor for research purposes so they could better learn a little bit more about autism disorder.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0While we\u2019re talking about what Autism Spectrum Disorder is, we also need to talk about what Autism Spectrum Disorder is not. So there\u2019s a lot of common misconceptions out there, and I cannot tell you how many causes I have seen, but the number one cause that people say is associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder is always vaccinations. There\u2019s always the debate of vaccines caused your Autism. But the thing is, there\u2019s been a ton of\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/vaccinesafety\/concerns\/autism.html\" target=\"_blank\">research<\/a>\u00a0that\u2019s out there that has debunked that. So there is no relationship between vaccinations and Autism Spectrum Disorder. So there really is no point in trying to shame parents who have vaccinated their kids.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong> Or you get the person who informs you that, \u2018oh, your child will just grow out of this phase. This is a temporary thing. Every kid has trouble with transitions or has trouble speaking, right?\u2019 That \u2018this is not a big deal. There\u2019s no trouble here and they\u2019ll grow out of it in a few months, a year at most\u2019. Though we have learned that you don\u2019t grow out of Autism \u2014 you have Autism.<br><br><strong>Lia<\/strong>:\u00a0You\u00a0<em>are<\/em> Autistic and no matter how much growing or learning you do, you don\u2019t suddenly have Autism disappear from your life. Right? So I am not afraid to share \u2014 I personally have my own disability. I have ADHD and a couple of other things. And I don\u2019t see why Autism has to be perceived in any different way than the way we perceive other learning disabilities and ADHD, where it\u2019s just accepted as that\u2019s who you are. Right? So I don\u2019t say I have ADHD. And then it\u2019s like \u2014 sometimes I do and sometimes I don\u2019t have ADHD. Sometimes it creeps up on me and sometimes it\u2019s just gone. Once you have ADHD, you have ADHD 24\/7. It\u2019s just a part of who you are. And all you really do is kind of learn to accommodate your life and have other people help you accommodate your lifestyle to make it functional.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0And it seems like there is a slight negative taboo with the label of Autism. And for us, I realized that once you get through the initial shock of, \u2018oh, okay, well, my child is autistic\u2019 \u2014 there\u2019s such great development that we\u2019ve noticed just in the last year with our oldest; we\u2019re seeing great improvement in a number of areas. And it doesn\u2019t seem to me that it is the taboo that society has made it out to be. It\u2019s not a boogeyman, and it shouldn\u2019t be the defining characteristic of your child, of who they are. My child loves Blue\u2019s Clues \u2014<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0That would be considered definitely a\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/sparkforautism.org\/discover_article\/special-interests-in-autism\/\" target=\"_blank\">special interest<\/a>, which I guess we should mention that special interests are part of autism as well. There\u2019s a lot of autistic individuals who will have a unique fixation or something that they really love. And a lot of autistic adults that I have talked to, say there\u2019s a distinct difference between a special interest item and a hobby. People are like \u2018oh, they just have a hobby that they really like\u2019. But from what I\u2019ve heard from autistic individuals, they\u2019re like \u2014 \u2018no, it\u2019s not just a hobby. It\u2019s something that we intensely passionately feel about. And it\u2019s like a part of us and a part of who we are\u2019. That\u2019s slightly different than what you would consider just a hobby. So I\u2019ve always found it really important that if our kid has a special interest \u2014 like one of her special interests is rubber ducks, she is obsessed with rubber ducks. So we just encourage it and just like whenver she is feeling down, or she\u2019s getting frustrated, we just get all her rubber ducks that she\u2019s got \u2014 like at least 10, 11 or 12 of them \u2014 and put them all in a bucket, and give it to her. And she\u2019s one happy, lucky, little girl. Why take that away you know? Even if it\u2019s strange, like a lot of people think it\u2019s strange because autistic individuals will bring their special interest into adulthood. I\u2019ve actually seen this \u2014 autistic adults saying \u2018I\u2019m embarrassed because people are making fun of me because I bring my Teddy bear with me\u2019, or \u2018I like to sleep with a Teddy bear\u2019. And I\u2019m like, who cares what people think? Take that Teddy bear and sleep with it. I personally still love my stuffed animals and I\u2019m in my thirties. So I\u2019m just like, you do you and just let the world figure themselves out and not worry about them and just you do you.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, we also talked a little bit in the last episode about picking your battles. And so for instance, our daughter loves her rubber ducks. And sometimes if we\u2019re doing a transition where we need to go in the car to run an errand, sometimes she will want to bring her rubber ducks and we have a little bucket and we\u2019re like, \u2018okay, put the ducks in the bucket and let\u2019s go\u2019. And I guess my thought is, even if she takes that into adulthood, that isn\u2019t a serious concern because my attitude is when I\u2019m in the office, I have Walking Dead zombie figurines on my desk. So, what\u2019s the difference if she has rubber ducks or little different ducks on her desk? Like, it\u2019s something that you\u2019re interested in. That\u2019s just something that makes them happy. No one has treated me differently because I have my little Walking Dead zombies on my desk. It\u2019s just an interest of mine.<br><br><strong>Lia<\/strong>: Sometimes people feel ashamed or embarrassed because their child stands out from all the other children. And a lot of times there\u2019s a feeling of \u2018my kid\u2019s going to get bullied or my kid\u2019s going to get harassed because they\u2019re doing this weird thing and everyone\u2019s going to be watching. And those kids are going to make fun of him.\u2019 But I just think that\u2019s a completely backward way of approaching it. It makes more sense to be like, \u2018oh, look at what my kid just discovered!\u2019<br><br><strong>Matt<\/strong>: The thing that we\u2019ve seen is the\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/sk.sagepub.com\/reference\/the-sage-encyclopedia-of-intellectual-and-developmental-disorders\/i15665.xml\" target=\"_blank\">splinter skill<\/a>, kind of specialized skill that they are off the charts impressive with.<br><br><strong>Lia<\/strong>: Not all autistic kids have that. So there are autistic kids who have the lower IQ issues. And so I do like to consider that as well, because I know it\u2019s not the same situation for everyone, but I do think that in terms of what is Autism Spectrum Disorder, all you really need to know is that it\u2019s a neurological condition. It\u2019s something that typically the research indicates you\u2019re kind of born with. It seems to be mostly genetic. And it also seems to be very different from person to person. So not every autistic person presents the same way. Some people can be really hypersensitive to sound. Other people might flourish under certain sounds. Some people might really have to be very organized and line their things up properly and it might bring them joy. Other people find organization in chaos. So it\u2019s just very different. I know with our kids, for example, one of our kids is super motion seeking. This kid loves to spin and jump and bounce and run. And the other kid is kind of more laid back and more chill. She likes to just sit in her area, organize her toys, line them up in a row.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0And she likes her flashcards.<br><br><strong>Lia<\/strong>: Yeah. She likes to have a more structured sort of setting. Whereas our other kid is more rambunctious, but they\u2019re both autistic. They\u2019re just very different kinds of autistic. So I think that\u2019s the other problem is that a lot of times there\u2019s this misconception of autism. It\u2019s this label that I slap on you and it means you need to be treated accordingly to X, Y, and Z plan or I need to make exactly these accommodations for you. And the thing is the accommodations are never universal. You need to custom tailor everything to each individual child. How I approach my child might not be the same way you approach your child just based on their varying degrees of needs and wants.<br><br><strong>Matt<\/strong>: One of our daughters isn\u2019t a fan or wasn\u2019t a fan until recently of having water on her. She had a huge water phobia. We had to slowly transition her. Our other, older daughter, she loves water. She loves being in water and we leave her in the bath, just playing with her toys after a bath because she\u2019s just having so much fun. Same thing with the lights. Autistic kids are much more sensitive or perceive light in a different way. And then also, as far as the concept of taste, you might have a picky eater on your hands.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0The light concept itself \u2014 so a lot of times there are autistic individuals who are hypersensitive to light. These might be individuals who might prefer to wear sunglasses, or they might prefer to just be in shady areas. And then there are kids, like our kid, who are obsessed with lights. If you give her LEDs, she will sit there and shine them directly on her eyes as long as she can unless you take it away. So it really is like a drastically varied spectrum. And that is why it\u2019s called Autism Spectrum Disorder now and not just Autism because no two autistic people are the same. And to that effect, it really does matter how you treat each individual autistic person because you have to accommodate accordingly. Our two children are completely different cases.<br><br><strong>Matt<\/strong>: And that\u2019s why I think we made the naive mistake at first because we were using our oldest daughter as the anchor point of,\u2019 okay, this is what autism is\u2019. And then when we had our youngest, we were like, \u2018oh no, she can\u2019t be autistic because she\u2019s nothing like her sister\u2019. And then we had the wake-up call of, \u2018okay, she can still be autistic. She\u2019s just on a spectrum\u2019<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah. And then on top of that, the other issue we ran into is once we did find out she was autistic, then we\u2019re like, \u2018Okay, we\u2019ve done this before. We can tackle this\u2019. And so we essentially started tackling it and by tackling, I mean, helping her with her language and things like that because she\u2019s non-verbal. We basically started to approach it the same way we did with our first kid trying to expose her to language. But then we realized that was not working at all with our second kid. We basically had to do a completely brand new system for her. And honestly, it\u2019s something we\u2019re still working on with her because she\u2019s still pretty much non-verbal. Whereas with our first kid, everything that we did actually worked and she was able to expand and progress with her language fairly quickly. So it really is a matter of just make sure you have the time and patience for each child if you have more than one autistic child. Make sure that you just custom tailor everything to that child and let your child lead the experience. If they are not enjoying the way you\u2019re teaching them something, then try something new, let them guide you. And don\u2019t ever force your child to do something that they don\u2019t want to do because that\u2019s not going to be conducive to learning. And honestly, you gotta be careful about what you want your child to learn. You want your child to learn to embrace their autism. You don\u2019t want them to learn that autism is this bad, boogeyman thing that they have to basically get rid of. So it\u2019s more about accommodating it rather than trying to change it or remove it.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0Great point that each kid is different. So don\u2019t go in with the same mindset of, \u2018this worked for this one. And let me try the exact same thing\u2019. Each kid is a little different. You\u2019re going to need to learn what their strengths are, what their weaknesses are, and then focus on the weaknesses. And hopefully, from there you\u2019ll be able to see some improvement.<br><br><strong>Lia<\/strong>: Let\u2019s talk about some red flags that we saw because I know that with each kid, we basically saw two completely different sets of red flags with our first kid. We, we really saw some, honestly the day she was born, but we didn\u2019t realize that they were red flags because she was our first child.<br><br><strong>Matt<\/strong>: So I think the first thing was when she was a brand new baby, she never really cried. She would never show that she was hungry or needed a diaper change. We just thought she was the greatest baby in the world. We were like, \u2018wow, everyone complains that their baby is crying and ours is as quiet\u2019.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0She would sleep for five hours in a row throughout the day. Remember that? And we would be like, \u2018oh, she\u2019s such a good baby.\u2019<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0And then even at night, when she was hungry, she wouldn\u2019t cry and wake us up.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0The only way I knew that she was hungry was because she would start viciously sucking her thumbs and her fingers \u2014 she never cried. And in retrospect, that\u2019s like a huge red flag. She wasn\u2019t able to communicate her needs and wants in that way. And later, as she got older, that was one of her things when she was hungry or thirsty, she was never able to express to us or even show us that she was okay.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0We actually had worked with infants and toddlers just to get her to the point where she is requesting her needs to us. So if she is hungry, we\u2019re teaching her some type of sign language to show us, \u2018oh, I need a snack. I\u2019m hungry.\u2019 Just something.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0We really had the most trouble with her. Because initially when she was really young, she was completely in her own little world. Like she was staring off into space a lot, not responding to her name, avoiding eye contact proactively. She would be very content just being in a corner and isolating. She seemed completely unaware of her surroundings. Like she didn\u2019t really realize if there were people around.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0She didn\u2019t even care.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Right? She didn\u2019t even care. If you tried to go out of your way to get her attention, she still wouldn\u2019t respond or react. You really had to be like right in her face for her to even realize you were there. So that was one of the biggest red flags that we noticed that something was off.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0Right. And I think the one saving grace moment with her was that she was obsessed with songs and music and nursery rhymes. So we were able to engage with her or get her attention through music. And we were able to slowly kind of work our way to getting her to notice we were there.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Right. With the other red flags, the things that we noticed were the hand flapping. It took us a while to even realize that she was doing it because there\u2019s a period, a stage that babies go through where arm flapping is actually very normal. It\u2019s very typical and part of their development. So she was always kind of doing it. And I was like, \u2018oh, she\u2019s just a happy baby\u2019. But because she was our first child, I didn\u2019t realize that there\u2019s a cutoff point in age where a child is supposed to essentially stop that behavior.<br><br><strong>Matt:\u00a0<\/strong>Yeah, I had<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>no knowledge one way or the other.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0I remember when we did the evaluation, that was on there. And then the thing that really stood out to me too was the fact that she started lining everything up.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0Right. Very OCD, everything in a line regardless. I mean, she wouldn\u2019t play with a toy, but she would line the toy up with another toy.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah. And it didn\u2019t even matter what the toys were. She lined up water bottles, she lined up ducks. She lined up pretty much everything that she saw, even random things like crayons or whatever. She was just always lining everything up.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0I think of like the truck and a typical kid would push the truck around, making the wheels spin on the ground like a normal truck would move, but with her, it would just be lining the truck up, moving it into a new location, lining it up with the other trucks or cars that she had to play with. So that behavior definitely stood out as something that seemed a little different that I wasn\u2019t used to, or hadn\u2019t encountered before.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah, and then there were a few other things. She had low muscle tone and she\u00a0<em>never<\/em>\u00a0crawled. So that was something that was a red flag for us too, because when she would try to crawl, she would get kind of in a crawling position but then her legs would kind of just frog-leg out. So they were like spread out and she wasn\u2019t able to get the strength to push her knees up under her and prop herself up into a crawl position. And I remember putting her into that position physically for her and then as soon as I would let go, she would just flop back down. So that was something very unusual to me. And I was a bit concerned. Because that seems like a medical issue to me.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0Right, it seemed like a definitely very delayed and developmental concern. Transportation was basically doing a barrel roll, just rolling, and then trying to reposition and then roll to wherever she was going. And then I think we first noticed that she was starting to walk at around 13 months, but before that it was basically rolling and us carrying her, picking her up. But there wasn\u2019t any other type of movement.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0These were basically a couple of red flags that we saw. Honestly though, there\u2019s a lot of red flags. We could probably go on days and days talking about how many red flags we saw.<br><br><strong>Matt<\/strong>: Well, these are all the early signs. I would say these are all probably one year and younger.<br><br><strong>Lia<\/strong>: We basically noticed pretty much completely different red flags with our second child. Our second child was more of an active baby. Her red flags were primarily things like spinning, running, jumping, constantly crashing, constantly seeking sensory feedback. She would bring blankets to us, for us to wrap her up in a blanket. She\u2019s non-verbal so she basically just brought us a blanket and I knew what that meant. She also had a lot more of the feeding issues. So our first child had feeding issues as well. She had sensory aversions to certain foods and textures, and it was really limited on her diet. And then our second child has been so limited that she\u2019s actually been restricted, mostly to purees and baby foods, even though she\u2019s going on 20 months old now that\u2019s basically been her primary die. I think with the second child as well, we had issues with severe water aversion. Like she hated water.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0The first one was spitting the water and now this one or second child wouldn\u2019t necessarily have anything to do with it.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0I was working with occupational therapy and it literally took me a month, a full solid month to get her comfortable with taking baths. I had to slowly transition her into the process and now we\u2019re able to get her to take a bath, but it was just such a problem initially with her.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0As an adult or a parent, being able to focus and put yourself in their shoes and see, \u2018okay, this is a sensory experience that they\u2019re having\u2019 and from that trying to gauge, \u2018okay, so they don\u2019t like when water splashes on them when they accidentally spilled a water bottle on them, and they don\u2019t like how that feels\u2019. And then being able to understand that they might not be a fan of taking a bath just because of the same sensation and experience as well.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0I think also the things that we started to notice were the\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.autism.org\/toe-walking-and-asd\/\" target=\"_blank\">tiptoeing behaviors<\/a>\u00a0with both of the kids. So both of the kids had tiptoeing behaviors. You know, initially tiptoeing is not a big deal. It can become an issue later on because it can cause the tendons to shrink. So some people even require surgical intervention. When we notice that they were constantly tip-toeing that was a huge concern, which honestly I did not know that was a symptom of autism. Initially, I had to basically mention it during one of the therapy sessions and they\u2019re like, \u2018yeah, that\u2019s associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder as well\u2019. That\u2019s something that both of them have done and we\u2019ve worked with them. They still honestly do it on occasion, but it was pretty obvious in that first kid. Like she did it all the time, 24\/7, and we really had to work with her. With our second kid, it wasn\u2019t as prevalent. It was a little more discrete and because of that, we weren\u2019t quite sure with her either.<br><br><strong>Matt:\u00a0<\/strong>I think another area that we\u2019ve noticed that there have been some red flags with both of our girls would be the meltdowns that they\u2019ve experienced and difficulty transitioning. I\u2019ve noticed that it\u2019s more so with our oldest daughter for the transition period, that whenever she\u2019s either playing or watching TV and we try and change activities, she has a hard time transitioning.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0She\u2019s had a difficult time transitioning from one activity to another activity. For example, taking her on a car ride. If she was playing with her toys in the house and then we have to go to get groceries or something like that and it\u2019s time to pack up and go in the car, she would have a huge meltdown where she would just throw herself on the floor and cry in hysterics. And we would have a hard time getting her to kind of calm down just to be able to bring her to the grocery store.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0And sometimes we have to avoid some of these places in general.<br><br><strong>Lia:\u00a0<\/strong>She just gets sensory overload and she can\u2019t handle the noise, the music, the talking, the movement, the flashing lights, and colors. So sometimes those things would trigger meltdowns. So that was something that we noticed that was happening. But we at the time didn\u2019t know it was due to sensory overload.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0And it\u2019s not just that she will refuse to walk to make you carry her because she\u2019ll fight because she wants to be on the ground. And then she\u2019ll insist on sitting on the ground or lying down on the ground and basically dead weight if you try and move her.<br><br><strong>Lia<\/strong>: And a lot of people get tantrums versus meltdowns confused. So I\u2019ve heard people say, \u2018you just need to learn how to discipline your child\u2019 or \u2018oh, that kid is spoiled\u2019. And that\u2019s another common misconception with autism. When a kid is having a meltdown, it\u2019s not the same thing as a tantrum. And there are ways that you can differentiate between the two. I kind of knew it was getting a little bit extreme when it would just happen out of seemingly nowhere because there didn\u2019t seem to be any specific triggers.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0And it seemed like it was for relatively minor things as well.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah. Like if her ducks weren\u2019t all in a row.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0Or if her sister was stealing her ducks.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Right. Oh my gosh, don\u2019t even!<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0But it seemed like it was for what I would consider relatively minor things. It would be a huge life-altering meltdown.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0So if you notice that your child is having what appears to be a massive tantrum, pay attention to what\u2019s triggering that tantrum. Just pay attention to see what\u2019s going on to see if it is in fact a tantrum, or if you might be seeing a red flag for autism. If it\u2019s being triggered by something that might be sensory-related; if they are having difficulty with too many loud noises there; if there are too many people over there; their routine has changed and you change the decor in their bedroom, it might just be that your kid is actually having an autism meltdown and it\u2019s not actually a tantrum. So that was one of the things that we had to learn to distinguish.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0Right, I think we had family members come over. It was still a relatively small gathering, but, I think it was just new people in the house that she wasn\u2019t accustomed to. And just the change in environment, people talking, being a little louder than just the two of us.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0She was totally overwhelmed with all the relatives coming over. The noise of the wrapping paper being ripped up and just the movement, the shuffling, everyone laughing and talking. It was just overwhelming for her.<br><br><strong>Matt:\u00a0<\/strong>It wasn\u2019t over the top; \u2018cause even you describing it, as far as having family come over, there were only two additional people who had joined in that Christmas.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0To a normal person who is just thinking that they have a typical child it would seem like your child is just overreacting. You\u2019re like, \u2018why is she freaking out when we only have two people coming over? We\u2019re just opening presents\u2019. But in retrospect, now that we have all this experience with autism, we realized that it was that change in her routine and sensory overload, all the ripping of the wrapping paper and all the noises from just conversing. Cause there wasn\u2019t even any Christmas music playing, but we also had all the Christmas lights going and we had all the decor. So it\u2019s just complete sensory overload.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0I think if we\u2019re looking at individual things. It was very small changes. But I think for her, each of those small changes snowballed and made a huge difference that turned her world upside down.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah, exactly. Once we started realizing that, we started recognizing more red flags and that led us to more stereotypical autism red flags that we started noticing. Other things that we really noticed with her were more like the echolalia.\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellhealth.com\/why-does-my-child-with-autism-repeat-words-and-phrases-260144\" target=\"_blank\">Echolalia<\/a>\u00a0is a common symptom of Autism Spectrum Disorder and it basically means that a kid will repeat what you\u2019re saying, kind of like a parrot. So if you say, \u2018okay, put your shoes on\u2019, then your kid will repeat back to you \u2018okay, put your shoes on\u2019. Or they might just say, \u2018put your shoes on, put your shoes on\u2019 or something like that. That was something that we started to notice our oldest one doing, particularly when she was upset or frustrated.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0I think for me it was the biggest thing because trying to comfort her when she was crying, I would reassure her. \u2018Oh, it\u2019s okay, you\u2019re okay, you\u2019re okay\u2019. And kind of rub her back a little bit and then she would be repeating back to me. \u2018It\u2019s okay, you\u2019re okay, you\u2019re okay\u2019. And then now if she\u2019s upset, crying and I\u2019m holding her, I don\u2019t even have to say \u2018you\u2019re okay\u2019. She\u2019ll repeat back to me. \u2018I know, I know, you\u2019re okay\u2019.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah. Like she\u2019s learned to associate the phrase \u2018it\u2019s okay, I know\u2019 to when she\u2019s upset. So she doesn\u2019t really know what it means. She doesn\u2019t understand that we\u2019re trying to comfort her. She\u2019s just in a sense, been conditioned unintentionally to associate the phrase, \u2018It\u2019s okay, I know, I know\u2019, when she is feeling sad, upset, or frustrated. So echolalia is repetition, but there\u2019s also something called scripting that our kid also did.\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.baltimoreautismsociety.org\/glossary\/term\/scripting\/\" target=\"_blank\">Scripting<\/a>\u00a0is essentially when they memorize lines or scenes from movies or books or stories and they can repeat them verbatim. And that was a huge one with her.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0The struggle with us at first was because she was struggling with language in general. Through the scripting, that kind of allowed her to pick up some words that she wouldn\u2019t have ordinarily had.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Initially. One of the biggest things that you\u2019ll see is a speech-language delay in Autism Spectrum Disorder. So usually kiddos will be flagged because they\u2019re not where they should be with language. They don\u2019t have the number of words they should have. So she was supposed to have 20 words by 18 months and then like 200 that you understand. But she definitely did not have the 20 words. Even the words that she had were just things that described things, but she would only use words to really just say things out loud. So she was never trying to communicate with those words. She wasn\u2019t trying to tell me that the duck was yellow. She wasn\u2019t trying to get my attention on the yellow duck. She just saw the duck, thought it was an interesting duck, and wanted to point out, \u2018oh, look yellow\u2019 like a yellow duck.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0And it was the same thing with scripting. When she was a little older, she was able to repeat phrases that she had heard, but she wasn\u2019t able to use them in any meaningful way. It was just repeating a random segment of words that she had heard from somewhere<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0And eventually, with time, I\u2019d say like a year later she was able to use the things that she had memorized from scripting in context. So she will still script and say those lines from movies, but she will use them in a scenario that will actually make sense. One of her favorite movies is Blue\u2019s Big Musical. And there\u2019s a part where the little cartoon soap bar slips and falls. And he goes, \u2018whoooOOOoooa!\u2019 when he slips. So now every time she falls or she gets injured instead of reacting with a natural response, her reaction is to say, \u2018whoooOOOoooa\u2019, just like slippery soap. So she\u2019s now learned to associate with what it actually is similar to, but she\u2019s not able to come up with her own original reaction.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0Right. That kind of goes along with having to be taught how to communicate. And I mean that going down to the play as well.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0She\u2019s actually gone through a lot of therapies because of that, but that was honestly one of the biggest red flags that we noticed. With fine motor, one of the issues that she had was she wasn\u2019t able to, for example, put coins inside of a piggyback. So they had tested that during her evaluation and they noticed she didn&#8217;t have a fine pincer grasp. So there\u2019s a lot of little things like that that we never would have noticed if it wasn\u2019t for the evaluation.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s true. I would say she\u2019s very rigid with any type of change of routine. So trying to institute any type of regular routine that isn\u2019t what she\u2019s used to or accustomed to is a struggle in itself.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0For example, what I used to do is I would go to work and I\u2019d drop her off at my mom\u2019s, who would watch her while I was working. So that was the routine. Right? But then my schedule got changed up when I got pregnant with my second child. So I was able to work from home more often. And then the days that my mom would be watching her kind of would change. So she would get frustrated if I unexpectedly dropped her off at my mom\u2019s. She would be crying and fussing because she\u2019s not used to that. She was used to being home on those days. And alternatively, if I had her home on a day she wanted to go to grandma\u2019s, she would be fussing and having another meltdown because she thought, \u2018no, this is the day we go to grandma\u2019s\u2019. So that rigidity with the schedule itself was something that I thought was a little bit strange, but at the same time, I didn\u2019t really think it was an autism thing.<br><br><strong>Matt:\u00a0<\/strong>Well we still see that today. She will want to go in the car if we don\u2019t go for a car ride in the afternoon because we don\u2019t feel like it, or life has changed and there\u2019s another task we have to complete. She\u2019ll be asking to go in the car and it\u2019s kind of a little bit of a struggle letting her know, \u2018not today\u2019. It breaks up her routine a little bit.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah. I think the very last red flag that we noticed, and this was more on our second child, we didn\u2019t really notice it so much in our first child, but it was really that headbanging. We noticed online that a lot of families were seeing headbanging and I had never experienced that with my first child. So I totally didn\u2019t even have that on my radar. But when our second child was born and she got a little bit older, she suddenly started headbanging. And that\u2019s when I went from thinking, okay, I definitely don\u2019t think she\u2019s neuro-typical at that point, I was still kind of on the fence because she was doing like the \u2014 crashing, the running, the spinning. But you know, I was like, well maybe she\u2019s just a more hyperactive kid with a speech delay. But then when I started seeing her doing the headbanging, I was like, there\u2019s not really anything else that could explain that at that point.<br><br><strong>Matt:<\/strong>\u00a0Right, It seemed like the headbanging, she was finding it enjoyable because it was very similar to her running and climbing around.<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0Like a stim, like what the autistic community calls, when you essentially try to do things to self-regulate, they call it stimming. What we notice is she was only doing it when she was going to bedtime in the crib. So we basically were like, well, it might just be that because she loves to run span and crash and dive when she\u2019s outside of the crib. When she\u2019s in the crib, she\u2019s very limited and she can\u2019t do that. So she\u2019s trying to find another way to get that sensation and get that body space awareness within the confines of her crib. So those were basically the major Red flags that we saw. There honestly were a lot more, but that\u2019s, I would say the biggest ones.<br>Outro<br><br><strong>Lia:<\/strong>\u00a0to recap in this episode, we\u2019ve touched on how autism is a spectrum and presents very differently in each child. Remember we\u2019re not doctors, so always bring red flag concerns up to your child\u2019s pediatrician or neuropsychologist.<br><br>Thanks for listening to embracing autism tune into our next episode, where we will dive into how to prepare for a diagnosis and answer questions such as how do I get my child evaluated? What can I do while waiting for the appointment and how can I best prepare for diagnosis day? See you next time on embracing autism.<br><br>\u2014<br><strong>References<\/strong><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/ncbddd\/autism\/facts.html\">Basics About Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) | NCBDDD | CDC<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/autism-spectrum-disorder\/symptoms-causes\/syc-20352928\">Autism spectrum disorder &#8211; Symptoms and causes<\/a><br><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/sparkforautism.org\/discover_article\/special-interests-in-autism\" target=\"_blank\">Autism Special Interests<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedaily.com\/releases\/2015\/04\/150428082155.htm\">Age at autism diagnosis differs between boys, girls<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/vaccinesafety\/concerns\/autism.html\">Autism and Vaccines &#8211; Vaccines do not cause Autism<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/sk.sagepub.com\/reference\/the-sage-encyclopedia-of-intellectual-and-developmental-disorders\/i15665.xml\">The SAGE Encyclopedia of Intellectual and Developmental Disorders<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.autism.org\/toe-walking-and-asd\/\">Toe Walking and ASD<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellhealth.com\/why-does-my-child-with-autism-repeat-words-and-phrases-260144\">Why Does My Child With Autism Echo Words and Sounds?<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.baltimoreautismsociety.org\/glossary\/term\/scripting\/\">Scripting<\/a><br><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"What exactly is Autism Spectrum Disorder? Is my child showing red flags? Should I be concerned? Demystify Autism and learn about some common red flags, as we pull directly from our personal experience while tapping lightly into the science.","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":2,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"sync_status":"failed","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/episodes.castos.com\/6067cc60525ae0-11655595\/Embracing-Autism-01.mp3","transcript_file":"","castos_file_data":"","podmotor_file_id":"","cover_image":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Embracing_Autism_Cover_Art_Cover_Art_Resized_2000x2000.jpeg","cover_image_id":"788","duration":"00:31:54","filesize":"25.56M","filesize_raw":"26798873","date_recorded":"2021-06-17","explicit":"","block":""},"tags":[23,22,24,28,27,25],"series":[30],"class_list":["post-945","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","tag-asd","tag-autism","tag-autism-spectrum-disorder","tag-neurodiversity","tag-parenting","tag-special-needs","series-embracing-autism"],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/autismwish.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Embracing_Autism_Cover_Art_Cover_Art_Resized_2000x2000.jpeg?fit=2000%2C2000&ssl=1","download_link":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/podcast-download\/945\/101.mp3","player_link":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/podcast-player\/945\/101.mp3","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"amazon":{"key":"amazon","url":"https:\/\/www.audible.com\/pd\/Podcast\/B08JJPDQGX?qid=1626277344&sr=1-1&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1&pf_rd_p=83218cca-c308-412f-bfcf-90198b687a2f&pf_rd_r=SXD0A1WCBBTYHSS83ATJ","label":"Amazon","class":"amazon","icon":"amazon.png"},"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/embracing-autism\/id1567815239","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.google.com\/feed\/aHR0cHM6Ly9lbWJyYWNpbmctYXV0aXNtLmNhc3Rvcy5jb20vZmVlZA","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"pandora":{"key":"pandora","url":"https:\/\/www.pandora.com\/podcast\/embracing-autism\/PC:73138","label":"Pandora","class":"pandora","icon":"pandora.png"},"podchaser":{"key":"podchaser","url":"https:\/\/www.podchaser.com\/podcasts\/embracing-autism-1901089","label":"Podchaser","class":"podchaser","icon":"podchaser.png"},"rss":{"key":"rss","url":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/feed\/podcast","label":"RSS","class":"rss","icon":"rss.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/5LtFSpYK31jTAgRTKa8sCI?si=mT38lgU4TWqrP7AR7-Zn4A&dl_branch=1&nd=1","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"https:\/\/www.stitcher.com\/show\/embracing-autism","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"},"tunein":{"key":"tunein","url":"http:\/\/tun.in\/pkmkV","label":"TuneIn","class":"tunein","icon":"tunein.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/feed\/podcast\/embracing-autism","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"NWYtgV1R8C\"><a href=\"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/podcast\/101\/\">EP 101 &#8211; Demystifying Autism<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/podcast\/101\/embed\/#?secret=NWYtgV1R8C\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;EP 101 &#8211; Demystifying Autism&#8221; &#8212; AutismWish\" data-secret=\"NWYtgV1R8C\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\/* <![CDATA[ *\/\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/* ]]> *\/\n<\/script>\n","syncStatus":{"isSynced":false,"status":"failed","error":"Current file does not belong to the provided Castos Episode. Please try to reupload the file.","message":"Could not sync with Castos.","title":"Failed"}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/945","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=945"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/945\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2738,"href":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/945\/revisions\/2738"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=945"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=945"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/autismwish.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=945"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}