Bonus EP — 8 Gift Ideas for the Holidays
Show Notes for Embracing Autism Podcast — Season 2 Bonus EP

Introduction:
Lia: Join me in this bonus episode as I discuss eight different gift ideas for the holidays. From a little bit on the higher end to the lower end, I’ve got gift ideas across the entire spectrum.

Lia: Welcome to Embracing Autism, a podcast for parents of autistic children seeking advice and support while spreading awareness and acceptance of autism spectrum disorder. I’m Lia.

Matt: And I’m Matt.

Lia: Each week we’ll discuss our journey with autism and talk about how to embrace your child’s individuality while providing guidance, tips, resources and sharing our personal stories. This is-

Lia & Matt: Embracing Autism!

Discussion:
Lia: Hi everyone, surprise! It’s a bonus episode. This episode is not really part of the main Embracing Autism Podcast series. It’s just a bonus episode I decided to surprise you guys with and this one is mostly focused on a few items that I recommend or just you know, gift suggestions for the holidays.

Since the holidays are right around the corner. One of the questions that I’ve gotten fairly frequently is what do I get my kid? What do you get an autistic child for Christmas or for the holidays? And of course, this varies by the age of your child as well as your child’s specific needs. But these are a few things that I’m going to go over here that I have personally found very helpful.

The items that I’m going to mention, we either own that exact item, or we have something very similar to it. And all of these are my personal recommendation, I’m not getting any sort of kickback or anything. Although I may reference some Amazon affiliate links in the show notes. And so for those there might be like a small percentage of a kickback. But we will use all those funds specifically to help grant kids with wishes and gifts. And I’m not going to recommend anything that I haven’t personally used or think is a really great idea.

The first item that I’m going to recommend — and this is a bigger item — but for those of you who like to get your child like that one big special gift, one of my recommendations is the Trekassy Spider Web Tree Swing (paid link), not sure if I’m pronouncing that correctly. But that swing is a big kind of like circle swing that has roping across it that looks kind of like a spider web. And that’s why it’s called the spider web tree swing. This one I believe holds up to like 750 pounds. So if you have multiple kids, that’s why I think it’s good for me because I have two autistic kiddos. So it will hold both of their weights. And obviously, it will hold the weight of an adult too. So if you have a child who’s a little bit shyer about trying these motion swings out, maybe they have hypotonia like my child where they’re not as confident to try it, but you want them to try it because it can help them work on their core strength, which is the reason why we have hours, this one would be good because you can actually get on the swing with your child because it does hold up to 750 pounds. So it might be a good way to kind of transition your child into that. It’s also really great for older kids. So if you have even like an autistic 23-year-old or you know teenager, you don’t have to worry about the swing not being able to hold their weight. So that is again, the Trekassy Spider Web Tree Swing (paid link) 45 inch and again, I will put links to all of these items in the show notes for you guys.

The second item that I recommend is called Children’s Factory Neptune Double-Basin Table & Lid Set (paid link). It’s basically a big word or a big phrase for saying like a sensory table. So what I really like about this one, it’s a blue sensory table, and it’s got two compartments in it and it’s got one side of it that is basically — they both have these little drains on the bottom. And so you’ve got one side of it that you can put sand or kinetic sand or water beads or even water itself and it’s completely separate from the other half. So on the other half, you could put dry materials like you could put sand on one side and water on the other side and it won’t mix and mingle. Of course your kids might mix and mingle anyway and I feel like that just tends to happen particularly with younger kids. But this is one of their favorites because it’s, I believe it’s height adjustable. I’ll have to double-check. (Editor’s Note: It is not height-adjustable). But it’s on wheels and you can definitely reduce the height to fold it down. But my favorite feature of it is in fact that it is on wheels and that it has a lid. Those are things that are really important for me because you don’t want to get sand all over your carpet and we have carpeted floors. So I really appreciate that this one comes with a lid and wheel so that you can kind of tuck it away in the corner when you’re done with it.

The other recommendation is — I’ve mentioned this in some of our live stream events, and I believe I mentioned it in some of the podcast episodes — but I’m a big fan of the inflatable sensory pea pods. I call them a canoe because they look like a canoe and the child sits in it like a canoe. So one of the ones that I recommend is the Harkla Hug 60-inch Inflatable Sensory Peapod (paid link) and that is a really nice thick, tough material. So it’s not going to easily break, it’s not going to easily pop or anything like that, like you get with some cheaper inflatable bouncy house materials. It’s got a thicker kind of cloth or fabric to it, so you can blow it up. And like I’ve mentioned in the podcast, this is one of my youngest child’s favorite things, because she’s the one that’s really sensory seeking and likes to crash into things. And she’s the one who really likes tight hugs and squeezes. So whenever she’s getting overwhelmed, this was actually one of the things that helped us with her self-injurious behavior, because we would basically pull her out of that and put her into the canoe and kind of rock her because it’s got handles that you can hold on to. And so we would kind of like rock her gently in there. And she would self soothe with it, because eventually, she was able to figure out that, ‘hey, I can hold on to the handles and rock myself too’. So that was really helpful because it helped us cut down on that self-injurious behavior. And it also helped cut down on her hyperactivity, because she was the one doing all the spinning and climbing and jumping. So I recommend a Harkla hug canoe inflatable canoe for any of those super sensory-seeking autistic kiddos. And they do have different sizes. So the one that I mentioned here, it’s the 60 inch, which is for like one child, one smaller child. But there are some that are bigger that will even fit children or an adult any of those would work, it just depends on the needs of your child.

The last kind of like higher-end item that I would mention — I say higher end, because all of these items that I mentioned right now, these are items that are I guess, on the pricier side of things — So all of the items that I’ve mentioned so far are around the $100 to $200 range. But that’s for those of you who are looking for that one big gift. The biggest one on this list — but this is also something that we have used — is called LA SIESTA Romano Steel Stand. And this is for hammock chairs. So I just call it a Romano frame. And some websites will also call it a Romano frame, all of these items that I mentioned are available on Amazon. So if you just type in the names that I gave you, it should show up on amazon.com. The Romano frame, I will say it’s rather large, but it does hold up to 300 pounds. And so that earlier swing that I mentioned, you could connect it to that, and then you have access to that indoors. And that’s what we’ve done with our child, we have the Romano frame, and we have the spiderweb swing, and we have it attached indoors. And then you can also swap out swings. So there’s like that inflatable teardrop swing (paid link), that tent swing (paid link), there’s a bunch of different kinds, just depending on what your child needs. But the cool thing is, you can basically just swap them out on this frame. So you have an unlimited amount of options. And then as your child gets older, you can use this frame yourself. And you can get those adult nice hammock chairs (paid link) or swings for yourself in the future and just recycle the frame. So even though it’s a higher dollar item, it’s something that will last basically forever, and you can always repurpose it. The other thing that I like about this frame is because it is large, you will likely need high ceilings for it. But because it is large, what we also did is we hung this canopy drapery all over it and it makes it turn into a kind of like sensory space because you got the swing on the inside and then we put the canopy (paid link) over it. And then you can even add fairy lights, we put some pillows on the floor so you can turn it into a little bit of a sensory note or sensory space. And then you have multiple things that you’re hitting at once you’ve got the swing the motion, and then you’ve got the safe space, the sensory the light, so it’s really cool and versatile. And that’s why we thought it was worth it for us. But that’s just something to consider for, again, bigger items for the holidays.

Now if you’re looking for smaller items, there’s a bunch of different things that you can use. It depends if you’re looking for more fine motor things. So if your child has fine motor delays like my children did, you can do things like the Learning Resources Fine Motor Hedgehog (paid link), that’s something that my child practiced with when her fine motor skills were pretty bad. And it’s basically a hedgehog with these little pegs that they have to work to align into the hole in the back of the hedgehog. And then you can store the pegs in its back. I thought that was really helpful for them. And they really learned a lot with that. So that’s something that to this day they still enjoy playing with even though they’ve already mastered the skill.

The other thing that they like to play with, it’s called a stacking pegboard (paid link). And this is another thing that’s great for fine motor skills. You basically have these little pegs that look kind of like screws, they’re plastic, and they have a little hole on that top. And the goal is that the child is supposed to align the toys into the hole and kind of clip them together or snap them together. And then they can stack them up and they’ll stay stacked because they’re clipped in place. So the goal of that is to practice that fine motor skill, being able to align that peg into that hole and push it in. And so that’s something that my children also worked with and eventually were able to get you can also use it for bilateral work. So my children struggle with bilateral arm use so they tend to favor using one hand over the other, for example, so what they do in occupational therapy is you get these little peg toys, you put them together, and then they practice pulling them apart using both hands. So it forces your child to have to use both hands. And so they can no longer favor one because you simply can’t pull them apart unless you use both hands. So that’s another way to use that toy in a way, that’s fun. But it’s also very therapeutic for your child.

Another one that my kids like, and again, they are toddlers so this is a little bit of a younger toy, but for fine motor purposes, it would help anybody with a fine motor delay — the Coogam matching eggs 12 piece-set (paid link) and is great for learning shapes, because they’re like these little toy plastic eggs, you crack them open, and then there’s a shape in there. And so what you have to do is you have to be able to put them back together and you have to be able to align the shape with the hole and the other half of the egg. So again, it’s practicing that fine motor, it’s kind of like the shape sorter game, except they’re plastic eggs, and you’re trying to align the shapes. And that’s been something that my kids have been absolutely obsessed with forever, they are still using those. And I think that that is probably really great for anyone practicing that you can also practice shapes and colors with it. So again, it’s versatile. And you can also do pretend play because it comes in like this egg carton, so you can use it for playing pretend and kitchen and stuff like that, which again, is something that autistic kids struggle with. So it’s a versatile toy like I mentioned.

The last two items that I’m going to mention here are — the biggest one here is the bubble tube floor lamp. And I mean biggest because I think it’s physically the biggest toy. And that is a 3.9-foot bubble floor lamp (paid link), it’s got multiple changes of colors, it’s got toy fish in it, it makes up kind of a bubbling sound as well. So if your child is really into the visual LED lights like mine is this one’s kind of cool, because you can change the settings of the lights, you can cycle through them, or you can put a static light and the little fishes will swim around it. So that was pretty cool. I would just recommend if you get that to make sure that you get an anchor (paid link) too so you can anchor it to your wall just for safety purposes. But that’s definitely something that my kids have enjoyed.

And the final one that I’m going to mention here is called fat brain toys spin again, stacking toy (paid link). This is basically like a stacking toy where you stack the rings. But what’s really cool about this one is when you put the ring on it, it spins all the way down. So for those kiddos who really like that spinning where they like to spin wheels of little tricycles or things like that, this one’s a great one because they get that visual feedback of the spinning, but they also still have to work on the fine motor skill of aligning it onto the peg. And on top of that they can work on bilateral skills because they can work on using both hands to put them on. This one is one that’s been a great hit with my kids and we even had this toy in our occupational therapy sessions. This was a big one at our Autism Center pretty much everywhere we went they had this one. So again, this is something that I would recommend for that fine motor skill development. So that’s it for me. I hope that you guys enjoyed these tips. Again, I will put all the links in the show notes for this just so you guys are able to access that I will also likely put it in social media. We’re on Facebook @AutismWish and Instagram at @AutismWish. We may throw out another bonus episode out there just not sure depending on how the holidays go and how busy we get. I will try to give you guys content whenever I can. But I thought that I would just share with you a little bit of information to help you guys out this shopping season. Thanks for listening guys, and I can’t wait to see you again in the new year
Happy Holidays! Bye!

Outro:
In summary, today I discussed eight different gift ideas for the holidays. These included a swing, a water table, and inflatable canoe, the Romano frame, the fine motor hedgehog, the fine motor pegboard, as well as the bubble tube and the spinning stacking toy. If you find yourself craving more Embracing Autism over the holiday break, please follow us on our social media at AutismWish to tune in to our live streaming broadcasts as well as announcements, events, and our monthly parenting group.

I also encourage you to leave us messages on speakpipe.com/EmbracingAutism as well as by navigating to the podcast section on our website at www.autismwish.org. You can also now tag your questions at #AskEmbracingAutism. We’ll be looking through them and may select a few to answer during our next recording of the podcast episode. This is Embracing Autism.

–
References:
Note: This article references amazon affiliate links. If you purchase items through these provided links, we will receive a portion of the funds. 100% of our share will go towards supporting AutismWish’s mission to grant wishes to children on the spectrum and provide parent resources.

Trekassy 750 lb Spider Web Swing 40 inch for Tree Kids with Swivel and 2 Hanging Straps—Rainbow
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Distinguishing Meltdowns from Tantrums
Show Notes for Embracing Autism Podcast — Ep. 208

Introduction:

Lia: In this episode, we will walk you through how to identify the differences between a meltdown
versus a tantrum, as well as tips on how to work through meltdowns and how to prevent them in the future.

Lia: Welcome to Embracing Autism, a podcast for parents of autistic children seeking advice
and support while spreading awareness and acceptance of autism spectrum disorder.

Lia: I’m Lia.

Matt: And I’m Matt.

Lia: And each week we will discuss our journey with autism and talk about how to embrace your
child’s individuality while providing guidance, tips, resources, and sharing our personal stories. This is-

Both: Embracing Autism!

Matt: Hey everyone, welcome back. We’re going to call you the Embracers.

Lia: Yeah, we decided we’re coming up with a new, a new name for our little fans.

Matt: Let us know what you think on our Facebook page.

Lia: Is that degrading?

Matt: Or is it cringey?

Lia: Or is it cool? Actually, I’m a little cringey about it myself Embracers- or is it cool, I don’t know.

Matt: We’ll think about it.

Lia: Let us know the comments on this episode on our Facebook @AutismWish, be like yeah or no people please stop.

Matt: Gosh, we sound like the corny mom and dad.

Lia: We are the corny mom and dad.

Matt: Right, but like that’s-

Lia: That’s our life. That’s us.

Matt: Okay.

Lia: It is what it is.

Matt: So this episode we are talking about, what? All things meltdown, tantrum and shutdown, kind of all in one?

Lia: Yes, absolutely. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term shutdown, because I know I hear a lot of people on the internet talk about meltdown and tantrum, but I rarely see shutdown. Shutdown is kind of like the adult version of a meltdown. Some autistic adults still do have meltdowns, but some experience shut down instead, which is more internalized rather than externalized.

Matt: I mean, I think quite literally like a computer just shutting down, blocking off the outside world basically.

Lia: Right. So what we’re going to talk about today is essentially three points to the process. So the first part is–

Matt: Identification I guess.

Lia: Yes, identifying the behavior. What is a meltdown? What is a shutdown? What is a tantrum? And then we’re going to kind of walk through how to navigate that when it is happening and then how to try to prevent it in the future. This is a topic that we are quite familiar with.

Matt: I was going to say I think we dealt with this at least once or twice just today this morning.

Lia: Yeah, it’s pretty frequent at least with the older one.

Matt: Right.

Lia: One of the questions that we’ve gotten very frequently in our live Q&A’s for those of you who aren’t familiar with it, we run a Q&A, what quarterly maybe, once a podcast?

Matt: Yeah usually as soon as we’re introducing the next season usually. I think we’re trying to do it more frequently just to kind of be in your face, live.

Lia: Hopefully not too much, but enough. So what we do is we do these like live Q&A sessions and in the last I believe like two of them that we’ve had this question continues to come up and the question is essentially how can I tell if my kids having a meltdown or if they’re having a tantrum
So it’s basically like do I punish them for like misbehaving or is this a place and time where I give them empathy and give them their space. How do I differentiate the two and what do I do?

Matt: And I actually struggle with that quite a bit too because I mean we have what we call what a three-nager.

Lia: Yeah, three-nager.

Matt: She definitely is sassy and has attitude and I mean your typical-

Lia: She could just be me.

Matt: In smaller form. But no I definitely struggle with kind of gauging like okay is this just your standard three-year-old tantrum or is this something bigger and so i mean it’s trying to gauge where does one leave off and the other one start. I think we had figured out that for what a tantrum it usually focuses on them getting whatever the end result is.

Lia: Yes, so that’s the main differentiator. When you’re looking at a meltdown versus a tantrum, the way that you can start to differentiate between the two is trying to identify the trigger. In some cases, what you’re trying to figure out is, is this like a sensory trigger? Is it a meltdown due to sensory ovedrload or is it a I want something trigger? With neurotypical children tantruming is very common when there’s something that they want that they essentially aren’t getting away with and that’s what will trigger that behavior. But with an autistic child typically it’s either a sensory component so something in their sensory environment triggered it either the lack of or too much of a certain sensory stimuli or it could be something like a routine disruption. When autistic individuals and children are very much so needing that structure and that routine with the day to day, if you disrupt that routine and they weren’t prepared enough for it, so perhaps they didn’t know that they were going to be going to grandma’s instead of to school that day, that in itself can trigger a meltdown. So that’s an indicator that it is actually a meltdown and not a tantrum. So just make sure when you do see that, the first thing that we advise is take a step back and think about what happened right before.

Matt: Right, and I mean we’ve seen our fair share of meltdowns in both of those categories. A disruption of routine before we realized that was one of the areas that became a struggle. We didn’t think that we had to create a schedule because we figured, oh, like they’re young kids, they’ll just kind of go along with whatever we’re doing for the day. But then we realized, no, it has to be pretty structured as far as the routine that we go through as far as breakfast, playtime, going out for activity, going to school, and whatnot.

Lia: What you can do is take a look at the behavior and look at what your child is doing in terms of what preceded the behavior and what happens as a result of that. Is your child behaving in a way that seems to be goal oriented? Does it seem like your child is behaving a certain way because they want a particular outcome? For example, they were having a snack and you told them that they could have goldfish and they said, no, I want pretzels. And then at that point in time you say,
well, we don’t have any pretzels so you’re going to have to have gold fish and then the meltdown happens at that point in time. Well then there you see the antecedent, you see what happened before and you see okay this child did not get what they wanted. Therefore, it is more likely that this is due to a tantrum and not a meltdown because it seems like it’s goal oriented. So a way that you can kind of test or check is give them the thing that they’re asking for and does the behavior stop at that point in time. If the behavior stops when you give them the pretzels, then that means that it was a tantrum. It was not a meltdown.

Matt: Now a meltdown would be you give them the thing and then they’re still melting down. They’re still on the floor or screaming crying, whatever. The item that they wanted didn’t resolve the issue. So it’s a larger situation at hand.

Lia: Or perhaps they didn’t even want an item and you’re just trying to encourage them with something that you think that they like, right? So if the kids melting down and you’re like ‘give them a piece of candy because he loves candy. Maybe that’ll cheer them up’. And they don’t want anything to do with that candy. That’s probably a big indicator that it’s a meltdown. It’s probably due to either sensory overload or routine disruption rather than a tantrum.

Matt: And we’ve seen that before like if our oldest is getting upset, and she’s in her carseat, if we’re trying to give her something, almost to like pacify her so we can actually buckle her up in the car seat, we’ll give her her like water bottle, which has like iced tea or something. Usually she likes iced tea. But if we give it to her, she’ll basically like throw it because it’s not doing the trick, that is not what her goal is. And that’s where we’re kind of like, okay, this is kind of a bigger task at hand. So we have to kind of use some other routine or other tips and tricks to kind of move forward.

Lia: Typically, when it comes to a meltdown, there isn’t really much you can do to stop it as it is happening and that’s a differentiating factor because with tantrums usually if you just give the child what they are basically asking for then the behavior will stop. But with a meltdown it will not. Tantrums need an audience. When a child is tantrumming they need somebody to know their tantrumming because otherwise they’re not servig a purpose, right? So the point of the tantrum is ‘I will behave this way because I can get what I want’. But if you’re tantrumming an isolation it’s not going to get you what you want.

Matt: Clearly not getting what you want.

Lia: Exactly. So that’s something that I’ve clearly noticed with our child as well is whenever she’s having a meltdown typically we put her in like an isolated space so that she can be safe and secure and make sure that she is not going to get hurt.

Matt: So the difference between the meltdown and the tantrum as well is with the meltdown they don’t really have much regard for any type of dangerous situation or potential injury that they could wind up in. As where like a tantrum if they are on the floor and they hit their arm for example they might shift over and start crying because they got hurt and because they have the audience of mommy and daddy, oh, they’ll cater to me because I’m hurt now. So just kind of shifts the tantrum a little bit, but when they’re in a meltdown mode, they don’t really care if they get hurt. They’re kind of fighting and kind of overwhelmed with whatever the situation is, and because they’re not really doing it for an audience, it’s the meltdown. So I think it is much more, it could be a much more dangerous situation, unless you put them in a safe environment.

Lia: So with tantrums, you essentially see that it’s coming out of a place of anger or frustration, and it’s basically just like this emotional outburst that they’re having. Whereas for an autistic meltdown, those tend to be a reaction to being overwhelmed. When an autistic person is melting down, during that meltdown, they don’t have any control over what’s going on. So it’s not going to really benefit them if you try to approach it like a typical tantrum. So if you try to just give them hugs or try to give them an incentive to behave or if you try to discipline it, none of those are going to be effective because at that time, at that moment, that person is essentially kind of checked out right now because they’re really overwhelmed with the stimuli or whatever it is that caused that meltdown. That is just something that they’re not going to be able to do during that moment in time.

Matt: And I mean, we have tried to– we might be in a store at when a meltdown happens. And typical to like a hug, you’re basically trying to carry them out of the store. So I mean, you’re holding them and they’re fighting, they’re dead-weighting, they’re doing whatever they can basically to get out of your arm. So it’s not like a simple hug and comforting will resolve it right then and there.

Lia: One of the first things that you should do during a meltdown is make sure that you are looking out for safety. So now that we’ve showed you how to identify between basically a tantrum and a meltdown, the next thing to do is if you do identify that it is in fact a meltdown, make sure that your child is safe and everyone around them is safe. Because I know that we have older children and people who listen here with older autistic children who may be what, 14, 15? And if it’s a 14, 15 year old autistic boy, it’s likely that that child is actually bigger than you if you’re a mother, for example. I’m 4’11. Any 14 or 15 year old boy would clearly be a potential threat to me if they were violent and aggressive. So one of the first things you want to do is just ensure that everybody is safe. And one of the ways to do that is by trying to create a safe space for your child where they can go to during this time that will give them this kind of zone, like a Zen zone, if that makes sense.

Matt: Right.

Lia: And if they are not able to control their behavior at that time, at least it provides a space where that person is safe. You can have sensory equipment there, you can have whatever their special interest or whatever it is that they have that provides them comfort and just have them kind of isolated from the person that they are potentially harming just to make sure that there’s no clashing going on.

Matt: Right, because our kids are I mean much younger– I mean we have three and two year old. So I mean one of the things that we’ve noticed is when our older one is having a meltdown, she loves music. So if we’re able to start playing music,it’ll start to slowly pull her back a little bit. I mean, she’s still having a meltdown, but sometimes it’ll kind of pull her back a little bit where we’re able to kind of get her into a better state of mind as well.

Lia: And some places they advocate for restraint. And I am not really a big fan of restraint with, I guess, one exception, which is unless your child is the type of child who likes that sensory input. So like our youngest child, she loves being held and squeezed and that provides her a lot of comfort.

Matt: She’ll go up inside your shirt.

Lia: Oh yeah!

Matt: So I mean, she’s looking for like little places to like nuzzle.

Lia: Yeah, she literally crawls into my shirt and pokes her head out of the hole of the head of the shirt.

Matt: She’s with mommy.

Lia: Yeah. But what I would say is steer clear of any sort of restraining system or anything like that. If you feel like you’re in physical danger and your child is just too big for you to handle, then in that case, I would say call in support to help you or just you isolate yourself until they are able to go and process their meltdown. But if it’s a younger child or even an older one, have them have an area that is their safe space. So at all times have some sort of sensory room or some safe nook that is always available to them so that they are able to go there. And when they’re having moments that they’re not in a meltdown practice going to that room and doing the instruction of when I feel this, I go here. It might help to have social stories to back that up. It might help with some sort of visual schedule or some sort of system to help them process that before the meltdown happens.

Matt: This is something that you’ve also been working during a meltdown as far as kind of regulating the breathing, kind of slower pace, kind of calming, pull her back a little bit. So I mean, it’s not like she is increasing her heart rate so she’s like in that fighting mentality. It kind of calms her down so then it kind of gets her into more zen, I guess, as you were saying, mindset. So I mean, that is, I guess, one way that we, I mean, it’s still an ongoing process, but I think that that is a very helpful way if you’re able to kind of start making those transitions as well.

Lia: Exactly. So that’s part of developing a calming routine. So whatever works for your child, you know your child best. And like I said, not every autistic individual is the same. Every autistic person is still a person and is very different just like we are very different from each other. So I would always encourage that you custom tailor whatever it is to your child’s specific interest and their specific sensory needs. If your child is like mine, and needs a lot physical sensory input, the youngest one. Then that one, I do give her the cuddles and hugs because that helps her. My oldest one is the complete opposite. My oldest one does not like sensory input of touch. So when she is having an autistic meltdown, the best thing for her is often times to put her in her safe space with her lights, because she really likes LED lights. She really likes a lot of stuffed animals and things just cuddling her that are not humans. She doesn’t like humans. And just provide her that space and give her her space because she is way more likely to be able to self-regulate if we’re not interfering than if we’re constantly trying to give her a hug or trying to like hold her hand or anything like that.

Matt: Right and that goes in line with I mean obviously you’re saying very different kids for different things. Being aware of their sensory needs so you’re not actually creating more of a problem and putting more sensory overload into the situation, try and pull it back. So obviously in our situation, eliminating the pressure of like a hug from like us or something that would just add kind of fuel to the fire essentially.

Lia: If your kid is dysregulated because of overload, the last thing you want to do is add more sensory input. You’re just like you said, adding fuel to the fire at that point. So again, this is very, very important that you custom tailor this to your child and don’t just take any of our tips and just think that it’s a blanket statement because it’s not every autistic person’s different, everyone needs different things. So make sure that you’re listening and observing your child. Watch for what happened. Watch for how they’re reacting. See if you can gauge any sort of pattern. See if you’re able to basically find what the triggers are so that you can eliminate those if it is in fact due to sensory. And the most important thing that you can do during the situation is make sure that you as the parent stay as calm as possible because if you are disregulated, if you are anxious and stressed and angry — which is very easy to do I can’t tell you how many times this stuff sets me off because they trigger my auditory stuff when they’re screaming and crying. It triggers me. So I 100% can understand that. But I teach my children when they’re having a meltdown to smell the flower, blow the flower. And that’s the way that I’ve taught them to do a deep breathing exercise to help self-regulate. And they’ve started to pick up on the smell the flower for inhale, blow the flower for exhale. So when we are teaching our children these tips and tricks and giving them these tools. It would be completely hypocritical of us if we didn’t follow them ourselves, right?

Matt: That’s fair. Smell the flower and blow the flower Lia.

Lia: Yeah, better do it. But in all seriousness, I do catch myself and I’m like, you know what, as frustrated as I am right now for the sake of my child, I need to just self-regulate, I need to take a moment and if that means you need to leave the room or whatever it is that you need to do to make sure that you are not going to be overreacting to your child and again, adding fuel to that fire — do that. Because it’s important that we stay calm and it’s important that we stay zen because how is our child’s going to get to a zen state if we are not.

Matt: And there’s been times where we’re out in a bookstore, a Walmart, wherever, and a meltdown will happen. And I mean, yeah, we could get extremely frustrated and grumpy as we’re taking them out of the store or we can basically just pick her up, be calm, quiet, walk straight out of the store and basically work through the tantrum outside of the store. I mean, just so there’s not screaming in the store and in kind of in a calming place. So I mean, I’ve kind of gotten in the attitude of like, okay, we’re just having a tantrum, like we will address it as soon as we get to a better place that is kind of a more peaceful area that we can actually like work through it.

Lia: And don’t, don’t care what people say.

Matt: And that’s my thing too. Like I’m not worried about the stranger in the aisle over who over here’s my little girl’s meltdown. Like I don’t have to interact with you. I don’t really care what you think or have to say. I’m just walking to get my daughter into a better peaceful area and we can work through it on our own time together.

Lia: I know sometimes it’s hard to deal with the judgment and the shame and everything that comes with parenting a meltdown at the time and people just don’t understand so just don’t let it get to you because most people don’t know what’s going on and you know to each their own we are living our life we’re doing what’s best for our child we’re making sure that she’s safe and she’s okay and she’s able to self-regulate and at the end of the day that’s what matters right you and your family so don’t care about what other people will say or if they’re whispering or staring at you and just focus your eyes on the prize which is making sure that your child is as comfortable as possible and that she is able or he is able to self-regulate when needed.

Matt: Well, I was gonna say and the other what 90+ % of people who don’t have any knowledge of what autism is. I mean, let them talk. I mean they don’t know what they don’t know so it doesn’t matter.

Lia: Exactly and that’s very similar to shutdowns which happen with the older kids sometimes. So the shutdown similar to the meltdown except it’s more internalized. So you’re not going to see something that looks like tantrumming. Instead, you’ll see somebody might isolate. They might not want to talk because they might have selective mutism or they might just want to get away from any social interaction whatsoever and just lock themselves in their room. It’s kind of like a, ‘I’m trying to prevent a meltdown therefore, I’m going to isolate and shut down instead’.

Matt: You’re taking the steps necessary beforehand to kind of limit the stimulation of the sensory world, I guess. I mean, I’m imagining that when you’re shutting down, you’re trying to find a safe space on your own and working through it that way.

Lia: It is kind of like working through the meltdown before the meltdown happens. It’s kind of like it is a self-regulation method. So instead of having like the child smell the flower, blow the flower, it’s kind of like a shutdowns an internalized way of regulating a meltdown from happening, but it is still basically in the family of a meltdown. That person is still struggling at a moment in time. So when it comes to those, if your kids older and you’re able to communicate with them, I would just recommend asking them if they know if they are able to communicate it, ask them, what do you need when this happens? Do you need me to be with you? Do you need me to stay away from you? Do you need me to provide you with X, Y, and Z? What is it that you need when this happens? And then just try to accommodate those needs.

Matt: And I was going to say kind of the same rules apply, trying to read the situation. I mean, if you’re able to have the conversation with them, if they are older and able to communicate with you, you can kind of ask and figure out exactly what they need to try and get them into a better state of mind. So you don’t want to add additional fuel to the fire, like down like we previously mentioned with the meltdown.

Lia: So just all in all, this is just basically us trying to explain the differences for you and we hope that this is helpful. The reason that we think this is really important is because I have personally seen and I know Matt you’ve seen that a lot of parents of autistic children tend to isolate themselves and their children due to meltdowns and I think that that’s something that makes sense to happen as a reaction. So you might be embarrassed or it might just be too stressful to bring your child out and a lot of times what happens as a result of that is parents just say you know what then we can’t go out anymore we’re gonna stay home we can’t go to the playground we can’t go to the store we can’t go to any of these places because my child will meltdown and so I basically highly encourage that you continue to attempt to do these things and go out with your child because you don’t want to deprive your child of a quote unquote ‘normal’ life as much as possible you don’t want to stop taking them to the playground to church to the store if at all possible. So instead I would recommend that you try to see what these triggers are and anticipate them in advance and try to provide them with the necessary accommodations before it happens so that you can try to prevent the meltdown from happening.

Matt: Yeah, I think it kind of, I mean goes kind of to a negative place when you start giving into the fear of the meltdown because you are limiting yourself from society. Oh, we can’t go to the playground because he might have a meltdown. Oh, we can’t go to the store. As soon as you give into the the psychology of we can’t do this because of the meltdown, it’s kind of a losing game because it’s going to keep building and building and building. If these kids aren’t exposed to society because you’re afraid of the meltdown happening, it’s just going to become a bigger and bigger and bigger spider, I guess, in your life. And then when it does happen, that would be just a reason of, ‘oh, that’s why we can’t go to the store’. So I mean, I would really push against the mentality of I can’t do something because they might get upset and have a meltdown.

Lia: And then on top of that, it will add resentment towards your child. Like you will start to feel resentment. Be like, I can’t go anywhere because my child is always melting down. And that sort of negativity and that sort of mentality can end up being extremely toxic. And it can end up breaking those bonds that we’re trying to build with our children. It can even impact your marriage or your relationships with others because it is going to basically influence your day to day life.

Matt: And I mean, they might also surprise you. Like, I mean, we were surprised morning. We took both our kids to the playground, basically as soon as it opens, so they can have full range of everything. And usually our oldest, whenever it’s time to transition from playground to going driving to another activity or whatever we’re doing on the weekend, she would get upset. She would have a total, start of a meltdown because she didn’t wanna leave. But today she was actually okay, just walking to the car and she was comfortable hopping into her carseat.

Lia: And for us, it’s a win, right? So if she has a meltdown n9 out of 10 times, that one time is still a win and that one time is still worth continuing to do it because every little win is progress. It doesn’t matter how slow that progress seems to me. It’s still progress.

Matt: Right. I would always focus on the small victories because they add up over time. So stay positive, stay focused on that versus living in fear for what may or may not happen.

Lia: Yes. And just a few tips to wrap this episode up with. When it comes to the meltdown, if you’re
seeing that it’s due to a transition, find ways to make transitions easier. That could be through a visual timer. That be through an audio timer like a song. You can play a song and get them used to the routine of when this song is over. That means our time is done. It can be with a countdown. We’re going to be done in three, two, one. Of course you give them a five minute warning, one minute warning before that, but you can start making transitions easier by giving them predictability and routine. And so if that’s the reason why you’re having them meltdown, that is a way to basically help prevent that. If it’s sensory overload, try to find a pattern. When is this happening? Is it always happening when we go to the grocery store? What’s at the grocery store? Oh, they have lots of fluorescent lights and they are being visually overstimulated. Now I know next time I go to the grocery store, I’m going to bring sunglasses and offer my child sunglasses. So just things like that. It’s really all about observation. It’s almost scientific in the sense that you’re producing a hypothesis and you’re testing it through observation, right? So hypothesize what is it that you think is causing it? Test it. Go to the store. Give them the sunglasses. Did that fix the problem? If it did, then that means you found a solution. If it didn’t, you start with a new hypothesis and round and round it goes.

Matt: So you think of yourself as a scientist. I think of myself as a detective trying to solve it.

Lia: There we go. The science is a detective.

Matt: Either way, either way, we basically get to the same result.

Lia: Exactly. So I hope that this was helpful information. I hope that you guys learned something and just remember at the end of the day, it’s all about having patience and empathy and understanding and basically being willing to make the accommmodations necessary to make sure that your child is feeling comfortable, happy, and themselves.

Matt: Alright, we’ll see you next time.

Lia: See ya!

OUTRO

Lia: To summarize, a tantrum is distinguishable from a meltdown in that it is goal oriented while a meltdown is typically due to sensory overload or routine disruption. During a meltdown, a safe space can bring comfort and protection to your child until it subsides. We also discussed how anticipating a meltdown and providing necessary accommodations beforehand can help prevent sensory overload. Join us next week as we talk about all things transitions. We answer questions such as, what can I do to make a transition easier for my child? How can I help my child enjoy holidays if they’re too overwhelmed? And how do I prepare my child for travel? This is Embracing Autism.

Occupational Therapy
Show Notes for Embracing Autism Podcast — Ep. 107

Intro:
Lia: In this episode, we focus on what you can expect at occupational therapy and touch on the common reasons your child may be referred as well as discuss examples of activities your child may work on during their sessions.

Lia: Welcome to Embracing Autism, a podcast for parents of autistic children seeking advice and support, while spreading awareness and acceptance of Autism Spectrum Disorder. I’m Lia!

Matt: And I’m Matt!

Lia: And each week, we will discuss our journey of autism and talk about how to embrace your child’s individuality while providing guidance, tips, resources and sharing our personal stories. This is-

Lia & Matt: Embracing Autism!

Discussion
Lia: So I wanted to do an episode on occupational therapy as our first therapy that we are going to review because we actually found occupational therapy to be the most beneficial of all the therapies our children have done. Both of our girls were in occupational therapy for similar reasons, and also slightly different reasons. We mostly put them through it because they had fine motor delays, and one of our children had hypotonia, which is low muscle tone. So she needed it for that as well. And most importantly, I would say they went there primarily for sensory integration, right?

Matt: Yeah, I think it was a combination of what actually got us referred for our oldest daughter, I remember, she was having trouble. I think we first started with eating food, feeding therapy. And I think that’s what first got us kind of on the list to take part in OT.

Lia: Yeah, so OT is a common abbreviation for Occupational Therapy. And just in a little bit of a nutshell, Occupational Therapists essentially work with both children and adults that are autistic. And what they aim to do is help them better perform activities that are part of daily living and daily tasks. So they might work towards a bunch of different goals that are custom tailored to your child’s specific needs. And this could be something as basic as improving their handwriting to help them out in school, or some play skills to help them socialize with other children to things like sensory integration, which is what our children focus more on. And they also try to help the child improve their ability to participate in activities of daily life. So that might include anything from being able to complete their schoolwork or being able to brush their teeth, or tie their shoes or anything like that. They give a holistic approach to how to get your child to successfully go through life through various components. So including a little bit of gross motor, fine motor, sensory integration, and all sorts of things like that.

Matt: I would say it’s interesting, because it seems like OT is kind of an overview of a combination of multiple different therapies. So we would have components that would probably touch on physical therapy, as far as kind of working with, like the swing, for example, because our daughter had low muscle tone. So it kind of worked in a little bit focusing on some of the core in that component. It also touched on some of the speech components for speech therapy as far as having her requesting things as well. And then even I think we had thought about that it also brought in the floor time therapy as well. So it seems that it is kind of a broad overview, incorporating many different therapies. But then at the same time, it is very selective on individual components that are important for whatever your child is struggling with at the time.

Lia: Right. So what’s interesting about occupational therapy is, like you said, it does overlap a lot with other therapies. So it overlaps a little bit with speech therapy, it overlaps a little bit with physical therapy. And it overlaps with Floortime therapy, which is an alternative to ABA therapy. And the reason though, is because there are components that are similar, but OT tends to do a more laser focused assessment of that area. And it tends to be more specific to the sensory integration aspect of that thing. So for example, physical therapy; in physical therapy, they might focus more on gross motor activities, and they might put your kid on a swing, right. But in occupational therapy, they will also put your child on a swing. The difference between occupational and physical therapy, though, is that the occupational therapist is looking more for sensory regulation input or vestibular input, which is basically they’re putting your child on the swing to help them with their sensory integration. So if your child needs more sensory input, because they are under sensitive, they might put them on the swing to get that sensory input, whereas the physical therapists would put them on that swing to help them with like, for example, core muscle strength or something like that. So they do similar things, but they’re looking for a different outcome, if that makes sense.

Matt: Okay, yeah, that’s a good clarification there.

Lia: It gets tricky because they do do a lot of similar things. So in sensory, they also do some kind of core stabilizing activities. So one of the things that our child did is they had these little suction cups that you might use to pluck off of window. And they were working on fine motor skills. And so she was learning on doing the pincer grab to be able to grab it and pull off the suction cup from the window. But ironically, they also use the same thing in physical therapy, but for a different reason. So it does overlap.

Lia: So in occupational therapy, they have a bunch of different focuses, one of them for us was due to our first child’s hypotonia, which is low muscle tone, that results in weak muscles. And because of that, she had difficulty with body posture and being able to sit properly and things like that. She had difficulty feeding herself because she couldn’t quite work a spoon or utensil very well. So in occupational therapy, they were finding ways to help her accommodate and work more efficiently with being able to, for example, feed herself.

Matt: And I think it even went beyond that. So I mean, when we think about feeding ourselves, we must think of the, ‘Okay, can I use a spoon or fork or my hand to put the food in my mouth’. But even once the food is in your mouth, we still had the Occupational Therapist actually look at how she was actually chewing the food. From the very start, she preferred very soft foods that were kind of bland. And then even then, we weren’t really sure if she was using her kind of back molar, where her molars would be- to kind of chew the food. We thought she was just chewing with her front teeth. And we had to work with the occupational therapist to make sure that she was actually chewing a little bit tougher foods, like chicken nuggets for example, that she’s actually using her back teeth actually chew and grind the food a little bit better.

Lia: Yeah, we were having a hard time because she didn’t technically have the back teeth. So we don’t know…she was gumming her food. And that was something that we wouldn’t have caught if it wasn’t for Occupational Therapy. So the Occupational Therapists, they basically were able to see that she did in fact, have hypotonia. And they saw that it was actually affecting her ability to eat, because low muscle tone affects different parts of your body. And one of them was her jaw. And they said that they could kind of tell because she had kind of chubby cheeks on the lower jaw area, which meant that those muscles weren’t really being worked efficiently. And they found out that essentially, when she was trying to chew the harder foods, she had a harder time because her muscles weren’t able to do that as efficiently. So they gave us a bunch of tips, I remember one of the things that they said was getting her to chew on chewy tubes. And they were telling us to do like a daily activity at home, where you would take a chewy tube and get them to bite on it from left to right all the way across. And just get her to practice using those muscles in her mouth.

Matt: Right. And then even as far as her being able to use a utensil to feed herself, we were having trouble with that, because we would have a standard spoon that’s straight. And she wouldn’t understand if I turn the spoon, I can get it in my mouth instead of just smashing it into my face and having all the food fall off of it. So we had to work with her very slowly to transition as far as being able to turn the spoon. And we actually went out and had gotten some specialized spoons that you’re able to bend. So we’re able to bend them at a small angle, which allowed her to scoop the food and then she didn’t have to turn the spoon as far as she normally would with a regular spoon, she would only have to turn at a fraction of a degree. I’m not sure I don’t really explain that-

Lia: What it is, is I actually had the idea of the spoons, because I had seen them on Amazon at one point I thought it might work out. So what we did is we got these spoons that bend and because you can bend them in increments, you can essentially start with a very, like almost 45 degree angle bend and gradually straighten the utensil until she learns to turn it the proper direction. So the issue that she’s having and still continues to have to this day was a motor planning issue, which they also work on in occupational therapy. And the motor planning is basically having a difficulty in being able to initiate movements with your body. So it’s like you have the idea in your head, but you have a hard time initiating that movement. So in occupational therapy with the feeding therapy in particular, we were practicing on initiating that motor movement of picking up the spoon, scooping some rice in it, and then turning it and bring it towards your mouth. So if you think about that, for us, that’s really easy and kind of instinctive but it actually has a lot of steps. So we worked through the OT to gradually get her step by step to be able to do that. And now she eats with a spoon like a pro.

Matt: Right and I think the helpful transition that we started off with at first we would be feeding her with the spoon, then we’d be holding I think — what you hold her hand with the spoon?

Lia: Yeah, I think they call it fading.

Matt: Okay, right, and then you move your hand back. So you’re holding her forearm as she’s holding the spoon. And then finally, I think you’re at like elbow or something. So she’s doing the majority of the work and you’re just kind of guiding. And then from there, basically kind of a hands off, and then she’s kind of flying on her own like a baby bird.

Lia: Yeah, so that technique is used a lot in occupational therapy. It’s like a prompting, like a physical prompting to help them kind of get it going. And then you gradually fade out until they’re doing it on their own. So for her occupational therapy initially was mostly focused on feeding. But the feeding wasn’t just the fine motor skill, it wasn’t just like the motor planning issue. The other issue with the feeding for her was the sensory component, where she was very much focused on specific textures of foods that she could do. She really liked carbs and things that were kind of like plain or crunchy. So feeding therapy also integrates helping the children expand on that sensory aspect as well.

Matt: So it was interesting, because both of our kids actually had feeding concerns, but they were kind of drastically different. For her, it was kind of the bland foods, and she didn’t want really much kind of exploring new flavors and things. And then for other ones, she didn’t want solid food for the longest time. And I remember it was quite a struggle just to get her to try and eat anything — it was very limited. But it’s just interesting, because each of the occupational therapies is tailored very specifically to the individual child. And it’s not just the standard ‘okay, let’s go on a swing. And let’s see how things go’. It’s granular, they’re looking at the very specific struggle that your child has, and working with them on that, which I thought was fantastic.

Lia: Yeah, that’s one of the reasons why OT is one of my favorite therapies, because both of our children went to occupational therapy. But they both had completely different sensory profiles initially. Now, they kind of overlap, but initially, they were very different. So our second child, she also went to feeding therapy with an occupational therapist, but it was for very different reasons. She didn’t have any sort of fine motor control issues at all. But she was essentially refusing to eat solid foods. So she was on baby food purees for gosh, almost two years. She was basically two; she was eating baby food, basically, up until like, early two year old. And so we were working with occupational therapists, mostly with her to get her comfortable with trying different textures of foods. So we weren’t even worried about the flavors, because it didn’t seem like she had issues with flavors. But she had issues with textures.

Matt: Right. And I mean, that just kind of shows you that it goes beyond just the concept of the physical component of feeding yourself. It also goes to Okay, the sensory versus a puree versus an actual food that you actually have to chew for our other daughter who’s focused on the flavor of the food, but it’s actual food. So it’s just kind of interesting to see how the sensory component kind of plays a factor there.

Lia: Yeah. And the other interesting cross comparison is that our first child had hypotonia. But our second child did not. Our second child actually was gross motor advanced, she actually started walking at nine months old, I think. So she didn’t have any of those issues. But the other thing that we noticed that was also kind of opposite that was worked on in therapy was also their reactions to water. So like our first child, she was a huge water-baby. I mean, it was to the point where she’s the type of autistic child that you really have to watch around bodies of water, because she’ll run straight to it, she’ll go into the beach or the ocean, completely disregarding any danger. But our other child was terrified of water. And we we didn’t really know it until that one day where she accidentally spilled a cup of water on herself.

Matt: Right. And I don’t think it actually clicked that day, either that that’s what the situation was. She had picked up a glass of, I think ice water that you were drinking or I was drinking, and she accidentally tried to drink it herself and spilled it on her entire front. And she just froze like a deer in headlights. And we thought it was just she was just shocked that she had spilled the water. But I think it took a little while for us to realize it was the water and not necessarily that she was just in shock. It was she was just terrified of water.

Lia: Yeah. So at our last place, we had a shower that didn’t have a bath. So we had to have her take showers essentially. And I remember the bottom of that shower had a pebble floor. And because it had a pebble floor, it was really bumpy and honestly I didn’t even like it. So when she went in there, she would kind of walk with her hands up, look down on the floor and just kind of freeze when we would give her a bath/shower. And I always thought that it was just the textures of the rock that she wasn’t liking. So when we moved to a new place, and we no longer had that texture, we had a standard smooth textured tub. I was really surprised when we then tried to give her a bath there. And she was in like full blown panic. Like she, as soon as she heard the water rushing into the bathtub, she would be climbing us and trying to climb out, she’d be freaking out like she did not want to touch the water at all.

Matt: Right? I remember it took at least a couple of months working with the Occupational Therapist kind of slowly transitioning, kind of changing one element of bath time until she was actually sitting in the bath and didn’t have any trouble from there. But remember, it’s a very slow approach. It’s first you’re getting her in the bathtub without any water, just to kind of get used to ‘Okay, this is the dimensions of the bathtub. And this is how everything works.’ And then slowly getting her exposed to ‘Okay, this is water, it’s safe.’ We actually found out that we had to I think — what, change the temperature?

Lia: We had to make it lukewarm. So it wasn’t either hot or cold. She just wanted lukewarm.

Matt: And then the other component was she would be taking bath time with her sister and her sister loves water, so she’d be splashing. So we had to remove her sister until we kind of got her used to just being in the bath on her own. And I just remember, it was very baby steps until she’s actually able to be in the bathtub. And I mean, now thankfully, I was laughing the other day, when we were giving them a bath. They’re both in the bathtub kind of lying down.

Lia: Yeah she goes nuts now.

Matt: Yeah. So I mean, thankfully, we were able to get over that hurdle. And I mean, thankfully, she’s okay with doing bath time with her sister. So we kind of were able to get over that.

Lia: And that is why we are such huge fans of occupational therapy because with our kids, they went into occupational therapy having pretty significant issues. I mean, they weren’t eating, we couldn’t get them to do any sort of fine motor type of tasks correctly, we couldn’t get them into the bathtub, at least for the younger one. With the older one, we couldn’t get her away from water. So it was dangerous. They were both elopers, we had all these issues that for the most part have been primarily resolved. They still go to occupational therapy, because they still have ongoing issues. And I know the Occupational Therapist said that for the youngest one, her sensory needs are so extreme that it seems like she might need OT for a large portion of her life. But just the progress that we’ve seen so far that now she goes from terrified from the bath to being able to do it. It’s been a great help for us. But the one thing that I did learn from occupational therapy is you really need to be patient about it. Because for example, the water thing, it took us at least a month, if not a month and a half of slow starting off giving a bath with no water and just using baby wipes while she’s in the bath, to get her used to the tub to then adding toys to then adding a fraction of water just to get wet and just gradually increasing the water over time to get used to it. So it’s not like a quick overnight fix.

Matt: I think that honestly, the thing that I love about our particular occupational therapist is she’s very playful with the the new thing that she’s trying to expose her to. So she was giving us advice because when she was playing in the rain, she’d freeze and be terrified and not move, she’d just stand still in the rain as rain is pouring down on her. And she was giving advice as far as how to get her to be comfortable with the rain. So she would say okay, take her out with like an umbrella, and then kind of move the umbrella and kind of say, ‘oh, we’re getting wet and move the umbrella back’. So you turn it into a fun experience that you show her you’re perfectly safe. I’m taking care of you I am well aware that it’s raining out. I know there’s sounds that might be scary that you’re not used to the loud sound of the rain, I am just kind of doing it in a playful way. And I think we’ve seen kind of throughout the process that any new experience that we’re trying to expose her to, she is doing it in kind of a playful way. So our daughter is kind of interested or she’s, she’s curious, at least I would say at least to try the new exposure just a little bit and then keep going from there.

Lia: Yeah, and a good OT will gamify therapy with your child. They’ll make it fun. They’ll make it light hearted, and they will let your child lead. That’s why we mentioned Floortime. A lot of occupational therapists are trained in the floortime method, which is, again, our preferred alternative to ABA therapy. And it’s basically kind of like a child led therapy. So it means that the occupational therapist is not forcing your child to do anything that your child doesn’t want to do. There’s no drilling, nothing like that. They kind of just feel out what your child likes and if your child is attracted to a particular toy or anything like that, they’ll just use that moment as an opportunity to teach something to your child or help them with a certain task. They don’t ever tell the child what to do. They just give them a bunch of options and whatever the child chooses is where they add. So that was one of the reasons I really liked that.

Matt: And I think it’s an ongoing therapy for them basically, just because I mean, yes, we were able to get over a few obstacles that we’ve been struggling with as far as the food and the water. But I mean, we’re still working with our occupational therapists for our youngest one as far as putting on and taking off shoes, socks, kind of getting dressed. And I mean, I think even for the older kids, it would still play a relevant role in a day to day life exposure.

Lia: Yeah, so some possible goals that they might do in occupational therapy, they range from things like academic goals. And these can be things like how to use scissors properly, how to print letters legibly for your homework assignments, how to use a paintbrush correctly, so that you can participate in art class in school, to things that are more like daily living. So that’s more like how to brush your teeth independently or button, your jacket, how to zip up your coat or tie your shoes to be able to do it on your own without support. But the third area that people don’t think about either is social functioning. So some of the things that they help or focus on is some autistic children lack imitative skills, which means usually a baby has like mirror neurons, which means like they mimic what they see. So when you’re doing a social interaction, a lot of children will learn just by watching their parents or siblings do something, and then they’ll mimic that that’s something that tends to be lacking in autism. So in occupational therapy, that might help children learn play skills and other skills that normally a child doesn’t have to be taught, they just learn. But again, since that’s difficult for the autistic child, they might get that through occupational therapy. And the other thing that they do is help children engage in socialization by teaching them how to engage in physical play activities in group settings. So it’s not social in the sense that they teach them how to communicate with another child specifically, but they teach them things like, ‘Oh, this is how you play, throw and catch’. Or ‘this is how you jump on a trampoline’, or ‘this is how you use a swing independently’. That way, they are capable of going out to your local playground, and they can play with other kids, because they can do all those things independently.

Matt: And I guess I felt that when I learned that I kind of felt dumb, because I always thought, okay, socialization, are you able to talk to another kid? And that’s kind of it. And then I was thinking it was like, Oh, no, okay. I mean, if a kid invites you to go on the merry-go-round, for example, and you can’t, because you lack the various components of sensory components to being able to climb onto the merry-go-round, hold on and be okay, spinning around, then you’re not able to socialize in the same way that a peer might want you to; I mean, it’s the same thing. When we go to the park we’re kind of on top of our girls — because they have struggles with spatial awareness and their judgment might be a little off — making sure that they’re not falling off of the playground getting hurt. We have to make sure that they see that there’s a step down, and that they actually are stepping down holding a railing or something. So it is very helpful to know that that is one of the areas that they focus on moving forward.

Lia: Yeah, actually, that’s great that you mentioned that because that’s another fantastic thing that we’ve gotten from OT is they do work specifically on spatial awareness and coordination. And they will do it in specific contexts that are relevant to your child like playing on a playground, how to work on spatial awareness while swinging or while climbing. And when they do that, they actually give you a little bit of bonus physical therapy in there by accident, just because you kind of have to have physical work when you’re climbing things. But they also work on emotional cognitive skills in the sense that they’re trying to train your brain to be aware of your spatial surroundings. So like one example is like our kid, we initially brought her to the playground one time, and her spatial awareness was so off, that when she went running down the playground equipment, there’s actually a part of the playground that is like the gym that’s actually opened, because there’s like, some sort of climbing equipment there that kids use. But she didn’t realize that it was open. So she just kept running and just kind of fell right off. And it seems obvious to somebody like, ‘oh, there’s a giant gap here. Obviously, you’re gonna fall if you go through it’, but she had no sense of spatial awareness. So she just kept going with the faith that something would be there to catch her.

Matt: And I remember both my parents had gone with me to the park with the two girls. And I remember them not thinking about it at first, but then they became ultimately terrified because — and they told me later — they were saying that she wasn’t noticing that there were openings that she could easily fall out of. So they became — I mean, they were going to the park similar to how they would with me when I was younger — and then they realized like, ‘Oh, no, okay, I need to make sure I’m actually paying attention to where all the different openings of the playground are’. If you’re going on an elevated ramp, for example, making sure that you don’t fall off. So I mean, it is just another element to just consider if you’re with people who don’t necessarily live that on a day to day that they are aware that this is a struggle that some children need to work on.

Lia: Yes. So that’s definitely something that our eyes were opened to during occupational therapy. And then some of the ways that they might help your specific child out as well can be simple things like helping your child strengthen their hands, their legs, their core, they might do this through different activities that they have for your child that will focus on these areas, they might provide your child with tools that can help them like weighted vests, or let’s say they need like a larger pencil to help accommodate while they work on the fine motor skill. They might do some techniques or give some sort of assistive devices to help lift, focus and make tasks just generally easier. There’s also some occupational therapists that will work directly with parents, that was something that we got to do our program that was extremely beneficial, because the OT would work directly with us, and then show us exactly how we can continue the therapy that’s in the clinic and practice that at home so that we could continue working with our child.

Matt: Yeah, I think it was big and actually, I think it went even beyond the OT. I think if you have a good therapist, and they realize, the point of the therapy isn’t just ‘oh, I want to take your money for the hour that you’re in the session, and then come back and get the therapy next week’ that they actually bring you in and actually show you the different techniques so you are able to continue the therapy outside of it. So you think about Okay, if I have therapy once a week for an hour, versus if I’m basically living therapy every single day, because my parents know how to work with me, because they learned the different tasks I’m working on in therapy, you’re going to cover much more ground just naturally.

Lia: Yeah. So like that was super beneficial to us. And then the biggest thing that I think that we got from there was a really good understanding of the sensory system and sensory integration. They taught us a lot of techniques that were relevant to our specific children. So if they were hypersensitive, or hypo sensitive, which is basically over or under reactive to certain set sensory input, they taught us how to handle it. So things like swinging, brushing, jumping, pushing, squeezing, rolling them on the ground, or slowly exposing them to different sounds like whistles and things like that, we were taught all these techniques to help for things like my child spinning in circles all the time and needing to crash into the couch all the time. They gave us techniques to be able to minimize the spinning because she was getting hurt. So it was really important for us to get all those techniques, especially with our second child who is extremely hyperactive to help her get the sensory input that she needed. And now she’s much calmer, because she knows how to get that input.

Matt: I think it was a real game changer because I don’t have a problem as far as stimming. But when it becomes dangerous, and you’re worried about them getting hurt when they are like our youngest daughter spinning around or just running and falling on the ground or running into objects, I mean, that might not be soft. It kind of takes it to another level. And you you have to think okay, how can I use her stimming in a way that won’t get her hurt? And that kind of touched on, I think, was it called heavy work?

Lia: Yeah, heavy work.

Matt: That we had kind of worked with our occupational therapist on as far as trying to get her to do, I guess work in a way that slows down her motion. So she’s actually doing something that causes a lot or takes a lot of energy to do at a slow pace. I’m not sure-

Lia: Yeah, yeah, no, that’s good. It’s like putting books in a basket and having her push it because she would have to exert a lot of energy to push heavy, you know, well, heavy to her. It’s not very heavy to us, because it’s for a toddler, she would have to exert a lot of energy to do that task. So it’s called heavy work, because it helps her do that. So one of the things we did is like we have this spinning Lazy Boy. And I mean, it’s really not that heavy, but for a two year old, just pushing it to spin it. That was perfect for her because she got both the spinning sensation and the heavy work, and it would calm her down so she wouldn’t be running around and falling. And one of the major things that OT helped us with this was actually her head banging behavior. So she used to head bang and we were really worried about it because we couldn’t really stop it. And we realized that it was happening at night. So we weren’t even aware of it until we caught it on camera one time. And we learned that essentially it was sensory seeking behavior and through OT and the tools that they gave us we were able to address it. So techniques they told us were put tight fitting clothes on her put like a little hoodie on her head or like little cap, give her socks, give her mittens give her sensory input during bedtime and put like pillows around her bumpers, things like that. So that when she’s in bed, she has sensory input and doesn’t go seeking it through head banging. And as soon as we did that, it stopped. Like, it took a little bit of a transition time where she was doing a little bit here and there. But eventually, it just completely stopped.

Matt: And I think even somewhat recently, as well, we actually moved like a little bouncy horse into her room. So at night, if she still if she wakes up in the middle of the night, we noticed that she would be crying and calling out for us because she wanted to be like rocked in a rocking chair. And it would be like midnight, one in the morning. And we were working with our occupational therapist, because we’re like, she’ll wake up and be crying for 20 minutes, half an hour, just straight, just requesting to be rocked. And so she had recommended, because she knew that we had a little bouncy horse, to move that into her room. And we also moved a little plastic slide in her room as well. And we noticed that sometimes when she wakes up during the night, she might get out of her little bed, she’ll bounce on the horse a little bit, but she’s tired. So she’ll kind of just fall asleep right on the pillows on the floor right there.

Lia: Right. So the key was us providing her with alternative avenues to get the sensory needs met, without her needing to have me go in there and bring her to a rocking chair, rock her and give her that sensory input. So by putting the bouncy horse, the slide and this little rocking boat that we had in her room, she was able to learn to self regulate. And these are things that the occupational therapist will work with you and your child to give you techniques on how to specifically tailor those to your child’s. So with that said, again, we think occupational therapy for us specifically was probably the most beneficial, but we will talk about the PT and ABA therapy in future episodes as well, because we do think it’s important to talk about different ones. But we started off with this one because it was definitely, in our opinion the most-

Matt: It’s the MacGyver of therapies.

Lia: Yeah, it’s like the most beneficial, so highly, highly, highly recommend occupational therapy, if you feel like your child needs it or would benefit from it.

Outro
Lia: To recap, in this episode, we discuss various skills your child may work on in occupational therapy to include heavy work feeding therapy, sensory regulation, and particular problem areas, such as head banging. If you think your child may benefit for Occupational Therapy, contact one near you.

Lia: Thanks for listening to Embracing Autism. Join us next time when we discuss physical therapy and answer questions such as ‘How can my child benefit from physical therapy?’ ‘What are some common activities my child may be asked to perform?’ and ‘What are some potential goals?’ This has been Embracing Autism.